This was composed sometime around 2006-2007 over AOL instant messenger with @baronhaynes. It's been slightly modified to correct or create spelling mistakes.

• The Dead Sea Scrolls would be an awesome name for a jewish speedmetal band.
• Giant Neon Jesus would be a good name for a techno band, btw.
• Goddamnit I'm out of Pez
• WHERE THE HELL IS MY SCREWDRIVER
• FOUND: 1 SCREWDRIVER
• The Flying Banjomen
• The Giant Milk Humpers
• Echolocation for pudding
• Solo into the dark night
• Interaction with blood remains
• MY SOUL HUNGERS FOR PEZ
• Festive Japanese Robot Santa
• Hilarious Butt Eruption
• The Butt Eruptors
• Gays without style
• Curse of the hamburgler
• Stunned Speechless by awesome
• 1d4 goblins
• Unintentional Boner
• ~Chaotic-Evil ~Half-Elf Bank Account
• Bus Stop for Sephiroth
• Flacid Pickle
• The Dirty Microscopes
• *not a punk band
• Punker than Richard Simmons
• Shrieking Pelvis
• you ate my sandwich
• THE FINAL DAYS OF DICK CLARK
• The Crotchless panties of Lady Liberty
• Stupid band name
• Pot calling the kettle a whore
• Lack of cheese
• CHEESELESS IN SEATTLE
• SMOKING DILBERT
• TANKER LLAMA
• Crusty Erection
• Sexual relations with a porch swing
• PISSICLE
• Grabass
• ELMOHANDJOB
• OVERWEIGHT DORRITO SALESMAN
• some letters in a row
• FUCK YOU MATEY
• Blazin' Nut Cream
• The Butt Spelunkers
• Level 2 Demigod
• P.U.S.S.Y.
• ACROPUSSY
• ~Super-Shit-Farmer
• AbsoFuckingLutely
• Take it in the butt
• More Pez Plz
• Raped By Science
• Paraplegic Ninja
• Dyslexic Ninaj
• Roasted Mudbutt
• Yoda's Porn Stash
• Millionaire Smack Junkie
• Corporate Blowjob
• FLINGING MECHANICAL PENCILS AT THE BRITISH
• Crispy Bacon
• Dripping Labia
• Smoked Sausage
• Putting Hotdogs through donuts
• Vaginal Fluid Snowcone
• Sticky Excretion
• Poo Poo Particles
• Elite Hamster Strike Force
• Poopchute Milkshake
• Encrusted Starfish
• Grand Poobah of the Leprechaun People
• Erect Hooka
• DRAWKCAB
• Sphincter Dungeon
• Calloused Taint
• Too big for its cage
• Cockbite
• Legume Thievery
• Goat Bile
• Choking on someone else's spit
• Smack Therapy
• Testicular Washcloth
• ~Mint-Flavored Cockring
• Scrotum Rebellion
• Everlasting Pimple
• Flaming Playground
• Burning Children
• ZE GERMANS ARE MAD FOR CAKE
• Drowning in hand cream
• 10-year-old axe murderer
• ~Bio-Spankie
• Redshifted Penis
• Liquid Booger
• Stuffing your penis in the blender
• TRADING SOUL FOR POCKY
• Pocky Hocky
• Dr. Seuss' Dark Secret
• Prostituting sister for PEZ
• Island Nation Worshiping Bob Saget
• The Deadly Cult of Carl Winslow
• Pedoshanty
• Snorting Whole PEZ
• INDIAN RAPE EXPERT
• The booger from times lost
• Boner without a cause
• Masturbating to Barney
• Invading Iraq for their PEZ
• An Acronym for What?
• Invisible Penis
• Fisting Veterans
• Bank Account Full Of PEZ
• Swimming Through PEZ
• Playing ~Go-Fish with the President
• Teaching Ninjitsu to Parrots
• Insufficiently Rocking
• Enshrined Fecal Matter
• Happy Fapper
• ~God-Damned Jelly Donut
• Umlaut express
• Farting through nipples
• The toilet paper is breathing
• I hate robots
• Frogs are like children
• Shitting scorpions
• Shitache
• Rectal Trees
• Banjo Thermometer
• Jumping Mothers
• Mothers Against Jumping
• Your Socks are Delicious
• Rocking the Nunnery
• Playboy Subscription for Jesus
• Honorary Tooth Decay
• Candy Cane Velcro
• PEZ Royalty
• Punched in the ~Penis-Socket
• Sockpuppet President
• Rat Fucking Religion
• Athlete's Boner
• Bullying the Pope
• Catholic Balloons
• Egg Salad Abortion
• Apesalad
• Polyester Dildo
• Asbestos Anus
• ~Steam-Powered Vibrator
• The Missing Toenails
• Fireproof Boxing
• Trainee Pornstar
• Interracial ~Sock-Jumping
• Lead Condom
• Telling your Mother about the Holiday
• Dickjoke
• Cinderblock Strut
• The Left Testicle of Justice
• Ivory Nosejob
• One-night stand with Batman
• Clown with a Boner
• The Spacebar of Truth
• Fear of a PEZ Planet
• Sandstone Blowjob
• Flamethrower versus Melons
• Murder on a Stick
• No Q on the Phone Dial
• Illegal Erection
• Taaaasty Eagles
• Frontflip Candlestick
• Bellyflop into PEZ
• Hobos for Dinner
• Mothers against a whole buncha shit
• Pasta Prohibition
• Anal Football Helmet
• Grippy Indeed
• Men's Bathroom Smells of Justice
• The Tower of Hair
• McDonald's Strip Club
• The Ball Pit in the 9th Circle of Hell
• Monkeys on Tour
• Quadriplegic Palm Reader
• Overweight Ninja
• Will Karate for Food
• Pompous Umbrella
• Leftover Salamander
• Upside Down Car Commercial
• Looking for him Angrily
• Kosher Bacon
• Angry Lobster Salesman
• Rectaltonsilectomy
• The Ten Whistles
• Asian Dolphin Whores
• The Dick Havers
• Twilight Milkshake
• Mother's On Fire
• Mothers on Fire
• ~Mother-Son Fire
• Stump Helmet
• The Anger Sharks
• Dickflute
• Popcorn Boner
• A Shaving Accident
• Trash Heap Sheep
• Zombies on a Donkey
• Golden Circumference
• Vegetarians Against Pimping
• The Assistant Managers
• False Identification
• The Value Voters
• Plastic Surgery Gone Awry
• You may take the pizza
• Terrorsexuals